Sociologický ústav AV ČR, v.v.i.

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2007:7 Fathers, Mothers and Caring for Children after Divorce

Radka Dudová, Šárka Hastrmanová

Parenthood after divorce is a reality that conceals multiple individual subjective realities, each of which is typical for a different type of actor. The objective of this publication is to contrast different ways of looking at the reality of parenting and child care after divorce or separation and show how multifaceted this important social phenomenon truly is. The study begins by introducing readers to the subject of post-divorce motherhood and fatherhood, the main problems that men and women are faced with as parents after divorce, and the ways in which divorce, post-divorce parenting, and ‘incomplete’ families are discussed in public discourse. The authors also present the results of two qualitative studies, the first of which is about fatherhood and the second about motherhood after divorce. With regard to the issue of fatherhood after divorce, attention is focused on three important repertoires or dimensions of the paternal role - the repertoire of father as breadwinner, the repertoire of father as caregiver, and the repertoire of father as the child’s friend - and on the issue of the loss of control over the family experienced by men after divorce. The chapter on motherhood analyses the main problems that mothers encounter after divorce: the notion of their family as ‘incomplete’, economic security and employment, motherhood and bringing up children, and the role of the former partner in parental responsibilities. It then presents the existing legislation pertaining to decisions about child care and custody after divorce and governing parent-child relationships after divorce in the case of children who are minors. Individual legal provisions are discussed along with the more contentious aspects of these provisions. The authors then summarise the results of a qualitative survey conducted among experts that specialise in taking decisions in cases dealing with the post-divorce terms of child care and custody. Their statements indicate that in the vast majority of cases the terms of child care after divorce are actually a continuation of the state of affairs before the divorce, when it was the mother who mainly looked after the children. In the conclusion, the authors question some widespread myths associated with parenthood after divorce.

Keywords

Parenthood after divorce, divorce, motherhood, fatherhood, legal provisions regulating parent-child relationships after divorce, incomplete/lone-parent family, child custody, alimony

Summary

This study contrasts the various subjective social realities of parenthood after divorce and reveals
the multifaceted nature of this social phenomenon, which is gaining in importance as the number of divorces and children born outside marriage rises.

In Chapters One and Two of this study, the principal author, Radka Dudová, introduces readers to the issue of motherhood and fatherhood after divorce and to the main problems that men and women as parents must deal with after divorce or separation. She looks at the ways in which divorce, post-divorce parenting, and ‘incomplete’ families are discussed in public discourse. She works with the hypothesis that the effects of divorce on mothers and fathers are diametrically different: while after divorce men suffer from the loss of everyday contact with their children, women are faced with a dramatic decline in their standard of living and must assume the role of head of a lone-parent household. For men and women, divorce necessarily requires that they reformulate their parental and even their personal identity.

Chapter Three contains some of the results of a qualitative study of fatherhood after divorce, which was conducted in 2005-2006. Attention is focused on three important repertoires or dimensions of the paternal role: the repertoire of father as breadwinner, the repertoire of father as caregiver, and the repertoire of father as the child’s friend. It was found that after divorce fathers are no longer the breadwinners for the family unit and instead begin to see themselves as contributing to the family budget of their former partner. Only some of them view their contribution as money that is intended to support their children; most men do not have a clear idea of the financial expense and needs of their children, and they moreover expect that the mother will continue to cover at least half the costs connected with their children out of her own employment income, even though the mother is also left with full responsibility for caring for the children. For the caregiver-father, divorce signifies a loss of the everyday opportunities for contact with and caring for their children. They especially lose out on those ritual moments that they used to spend caring personally for their children. After divorce, for many of them, providing children with full-time care, without the assistance of the mother, represents a serious problem, and it can lead to reduced contact between fathers and children, but some men are able to take advantage of this exclusive responsibility to build a new relationship. The conclusion of this chapter concentrates on the problem of the loss of power and control that some men sense after divorce.

Chapter Four presents the results of a qualitative survey of motherhood after divorce, which was conducted in 2006-2007. It looks first at how the ‘incomplete family’ is represented in the statements of divorced mothers. This is followed by an analysis of the economic situation of divorced mothers and the strategies that women use to solve their material difficulties. After divorce mothers usually find themselves in the position of head of the family with a single income, so they become the primary breadwinners while simultaneously remaining the primary caregivers. During the marriage in most cases women subordinate their career and career ambitions to the interests of their family, and after the birth of their children exit the labour market for a time. After divorce they either look for a new job (if they were not working before), while having to cope with gender discrimination on the part of employers who view them as lower quality labour because they are women, mothers, and on top of that also single mothers; or they look for other supplementary sources of income through part-time work or working from home, so that they can cover the financial needs of their household.

This chapter also looks at the problem of being a mother and raising children in a single-parent family, at the parental participation of the former partners as viewed by the divorced mothers, and at the women’s overall personal assessment of the post-divorce situation. Chapter Five, co-authored by Tereza Dudová, presents the existing legislation governing decisions about the post-divorce custody and care of children and parent-child relationships after divorce in the case of children who are minors. Individual legal provisions are introduced relating to decisions about child custody, various child care arrangements after divorce, contact between the child and the parent that does not have custody of the child, and alimony. Also discussed are the main contentious aspects of these legal provisions and examples are presented that illustrate some of the shortcomings of divorce case proceedings.

Chapter Six, co-authored by Šárka Hastrmanová, summarises the results of quantitative surveys conducted among experts on the subject of determining arrangements of child care and custody after divorce. The experts share the view that for women divorce primarily represents the risk of a decline in the standard of living, while for men it involves the problem of sudden isolation and a loss of everyday contact with children. They note that most couples reach an agreement stipulating that after the divorce the mother will have full custody of the children. Child care arrangements after divorce are usually just an extension of the arrangements that existed before the divorce, where it was the mother who primarily looked after the children herself. According to the statements of experts, most men express no interest in having custody of the child or children, and that is the main reason why in 90% of cases in the Czech Republic mothers are granted custody of the children. If a father is interested in retaining custody of his children, he must demonstrate that he will be a ‘better’ parent than the mother, which proves difficult if in the past most of the care and practical tasks connected with child care were performed by the mother.

In the conclusion the author dispels some of the myths in Czech society surrounding parenthood and raising children after a divorce. Examples of such myths are: the firm belief that judges openly and automatically favour mothers in custody disputes; the idea that after divorce fathers lose interest in their children; the belief shared by many men that mothers generally try to prevent fathers from seeing their children in order to punish them for a supposed injustice; or the conviction that divorce is financially advantageous for women. These (and other) stereotypical assumptions proved to be unsubstantiated in the light of the results of the research.